The Place
“The Place,” is what I refer to as a Nursing Home or Assisted Living. And from time to time, I find myself basically threatening my Mother with “The Place.”
For instance, when she said that the Seafood Paella that I prepared was not as good as the restaurant version, I quickly explained that they would probably NEVER serve Paella at “The Place.” I was insulted and feeling very unappreciated. Plus, I had been wondering about her taste buds as the dish was absolutely delicious! And I know this because I gave the leftovers to a family friend whom I knew would appreciate it more. Which he did!
And about the Depends underwear, there will not be a never-ending supply at any Nursing Home or Assisted Living facility. My Mother has already experienced this lack when she was hospitalized overnight. The Nurses refused to supply her with additional incontinence underwear when there had not been a leak or a spill. They insisted that she continue to wear the ones she already had on until such time. She was mortified. Not to mention that the incontinence underwear provided by such facilities will be medical hospital brands versus her preferred named brand “Depends.”
Speaking of her preference for her favorite brands. As for breakfast and the Raisin Bran debate, I would be willing to bet that the Raisin Bran cereal served will be a generic Bran cereal with Raisins. I feel like Dr. Phil, as I would be anxious to ask her, “So how’s that working out for you?”
My Mom would not enjoy “The Place.” Therefore, I wonder why she is not more appreciative of the fact that she has been allowed to remain at home. She is only allowed to remain at home because I am here as her Caregiver.
The reality of the situation is that the type of Place—Assisted Living with which we would be comfortable is cost prohibited. And “The Place” that we can afford either has extremely poor ratings/references or is geographically undesirable. My Brother and I have been unable to find an appropriate “Place for Mom,” thus here I am as an unpaid Caregiver.
A couple of years ago, when my Mother was in much better health, she and my Brother visited many such places. As an example of cost prohibited, “The Place” which remained at the top of the list at the onset was well over $10,000 (ten thousand dollars) per month. And the other top ten were only a couple thousand less. The challenge is that the initial cost is just that–the initial cost. The costs increase as the care needed increases. And given the situation, the care needed is definitely going to increase. And one can never truly be sure of the actually care given.
As my Mom is “financially in-between,” she is also in between in terms of care needed. She is unable to live alone; however, she does not need the care of a Skilled Nursing Facility, Long-term Care Facility, or a traditional Nursing Home. Did you know that there are a variety of such facilities, and each provide different services? Caregivers looking for options are very much aware of such things.
Just yesterday, I was speaking to a Management Supervisor at the Department for Healthy Aging (formerly known as the department of elderly affairs). Funny the only time that I have ever used the term “formerly known as,” is when the Artist Prince had changed his name to a symbol. Anyway, while speaking to this woman, I was explaining that I needed to provide help and assistance for my Mother that isn’t me!
That’s the whole idea behind “The Place,” my Mother would have 24-hour care in which I was not actively involved. Unfortunately, for a number of reasons, “The Place” is not an option and remains a simple threat. Actually, it is a pretty ineffective threat, so I would say that at this point it is a dream.
In the words of one of my Mother’s favorite Poets, “The Place,” is in fact—”A Dream Deferred!”
https://www.caregiversconscience.com/financially-in-between/
“FINANCIALLY IN-BETWEEN”
“A Place for Mom”
MY SEAFOOD PAELLA
Enjoyed reading 📚 and informative. Please keep writing ✍️ 🙏 💕