THE LAST STRAW
“That was the last straw! Or “I am at My Wits End.” People make these statements often. I imagine sometimes, one utters the words without really putting any thought behind them.
When a Caregiver says these things—the Caregiver is painfully aware of the meaning behind the words.
Synonyms as defined by Thesaurus for the phrase, “at my wits end” include Worried, Concerned, Perturbed, Fretful, Anxious, and Apprehensive. The further implication is having these feelings with no knowledge of how to alleviate the pressure or alter the situation at hand.
“The Straw that Broke the Camel’s Back”
“The idiom, ‘the straw that broke the camel’s back describes the minor or routine action that causes an unpredictable large and sudden reaction because of the cumulative effect of small actions or little things. (According to Wikipedia)
Its origin can be found in the old English proverb, “it is the last straw that breaks the camel’s back.” And dates back to circa 1755.
I have defined those observations because…
I am at my Wit’s End!
I don’t know what to do next!
And the last straw was so very many straws ago!
Every day this week, I have found myself in tears. I don’t know what to do and I don’t know how to describe what I am feeling. And I honestly do not know how much more I can actually take.
I’ve written about the little things that I do to help my Mother that I know make a difference—like making sure she has her preferred cosmetics, making her bed every day or helping her fasten her bra. And I’ve expressed my exasperation with the grocery store, the lack of sleep, the never-ending trash, and dirty dishes. They are all little things.
They are little things that I would not have to do if I wasn’t my Mother’s Caregiver.
They are little things that I have to do daily in order to make sure that she is comfortable.
They are little things that after a period of time become so annoying, I want to scream.
I’ll be honest, some days, I do scream.
I scream, “I don’t want to do this anymore!”
I scream, “I am so…tired!”
I scream, “What about me?”
Yet, even when I’m screaming aloud, I get the distinct impression that no one hears me.
And it’s at those very moments that my Mom says or does something that pushes me over the edge. It’s the last straw. The straw that broke the camel’s back.
Some days, it doesn’t happen until the evening. Some days that straw finds its place on my back just before noon. And sometimes, I make it through the entire day keeping my wits about me.
Today. while at my Wits End, I was reminded of a poem by Rudyard Kipling “If,” and I wrote the Caregiver’s Conscience version…
If
If you can keep your wits about you when chaos surrounds you,
If you perform so many duties throughout the day that the multitude of hats you don make you look like the Mad Hatter,
If you can put aside your resentment, anger and frustration long enough to experience the benefits of a glass of Wine,
If you have acquired a degree of patience for which you’ve never had a need in the past,
If you hold back the tears and the screams until you meet the last straw,
If you, despite everything, put the needs of another before those of your own,
Then you may be a Caregiver above all else, my Friend,
AND WE SHALL MEET HERE–AT WITS END!
I feel obliged to make this very clear—it is NOT the last straw that broke the Caregiver’s back, it is all the straws (the little things) that were piled on beforehand.
IT’S THE LITTLE THINGS – A Caregiver’s Conscience (caregiversconscience.com)
“DON’T PUSH ME, I’M CLOSE 2 THE EDGE! I’M TRYING NOT TO LOSE MY HEAD…“
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