THE DAUGHTER & THE CAREGIVER—Me!
Every now and then again, I am able to take off my Caregiver’s Goggles and see my Mother through a daughter’s eyes. It doesn’t happen that often but when it does, it is a moment to be treasured.
My Mom is a well-recognized force in the Arts Community in this region. Some of the events that she developed still continue annually to this day. I have always been extremely proud of my Mother and her accomplishments. My support for her creative educational endeavors has involved me flying from Coast to Coast for Award Ceremonies and special Events. And during those special trips, she was the “star of the show,” the “grand dame,” and my “reason for being.” Not much has changed.
What has changed is that sometimes as my Mom’s Caregiver, I forget about who my Mother was. It’s hard for me to remember the person that she is constantly trying to hold on to. I am living in this moment, and I see her clearly as she is now. It’s just that sometimes I see her through the eyes of her Daughter while most of the time, I see her through Caregiver eyes.
And those Caregiver’s glasses can be a little blurry at times.
The other day, I attended an Arts Event with my Mother. It was the 50th Anniversary of an Organization whose mission is to fund Arts Projects in this State. My Mom’s organization was one of the first to receive a funding grant. The room in which the event was held was decorated with Posters of all the projects which had been funded. Guests of the Event included the Mayor, the President of a prestigious Ivy League University, along with various other Community Leaders. Posters illustrating my Mother’s Cultural Arts Events plastered every panel of the walls.
I watched my Mother as she viewed her posters and remembered the events leading up to the Events. People were pleased and honored to make her acquaintance. She was introduced to the current Mayor as a woman who was close friends with two of his predecessors, the most infamous, influential Mayors this city has ever known. That’s my Mother.
I was able to view my Mom as she was totally in her element. She smiled, flirted, and debated with the people she met. She rose to the occasion and put on an awesome show! As I walked around with her, I was so proud to be her Daughter. I was so proud to walk in the footsteps of the woman who had the vision to create the Events that were pictured on the walls. I was proud that this woman is my Mother. As my Aunt (My Mom’s sister) once said, “I come from very good stock!” It was a good moment in time.
While attending the celebration event, a young man came up to me and asked me if my Mom was the woman, he thought she was. When I confirmed what he already knew, he told me that he would like to meet her because she had made a difference in his life.
“It is such a pleasure to see you again. You may not remember me, but my name is Angel.”
“You look familiar,” my Mother said having no idea who he was.
“Ma’am you took the time to talk to me and you introduced me to a world I never knew.” He was a strong younger guy, but I could tell that this was an emotional moment for him.
“I was heading down the wrong path but you…” he didn’t quite complete that thought.
“Now I work to make a difference in the Community with young people. I take them to Plays and explain what a cool place the Library is. And I’m glad that I have the chance to Thank You. People make a difference in your life and you’re not always able to let them know.”
“Thank you. It’ is a pleasure seeing you again.” My Mother smiled as she shook his hand.
My Brother has shared moments like this in the past. When I discussed the possibility of attending this event, he told me, “Don’t be surprised when someone tells you that Mommy has completely changed their life.”
I said, “Yea, I know.”
“No,” he said. “You don’t know.”
I didn’t understand what he meant at the time. Now I do.
But my Brother was right. The afternoon gave me the opportunity to view my Mother as the amazing woman that she was. The view through a Daughter’s eyes.
The view from my Caregiver eyes is quite a bit different but could be just the same. If I put in a little more effort. If I take the time to take a moment to see my Mother as her Daughter.
As my Mom’s Caregiver, my Mother is the star of the show, “the grand dame,” and YES, my current “reason for being.” The only difference is the eyes through which I see her.
Maybe things will be different, if I take off my Caregiver goggles, and look through a Daughter’s eyes. Perhaps I would see that my Mother is who she always was.
And I wonder how that would affect my Caregiver’s Conscience.
“Thank you. You made a difference in my life.”
BOYS 2 MEN – “A SONG FOR MAMA”
https://youtu.be/vdTnuc3ktzo?si=VJxSHyj0ZPZZAFNK
A CAREGIVER’S CONSCIENCE – THE PODCAST
https://youtu.be/uK7YRgRnSug?si=aeHs18g8Yzn5l_wP
A CAREGIVER’S CONSCIENCE – THE BLOG
MICHAEL BUBLE – “MOTHER“
https://youtu.be/IfGRSC7d3Cc?si=e3ILdkn7xpiRcQZc
ASHANTI – “MOTHER”
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