CHOOSING TO BE A CAREGIVER?
If you are a Caregiver, did you choose to be a Caregiver?
Did you wake up one morning and think, “I would love to end life as I know it to become a Caregiver?”
Did you notice that your loved one needed additional care and say to yourself, “I can do it!”
Or…
Did your loved one suffer an attack, a debilitating illness or aged quickly so as to need assistance–physical, emotional, financial or otherwise?
Was it suddenly apparent that your family member, spouse or friend could no longer live alone?
And then…
After careful evaluation of the situation, you decided that the best option would be for you to become a Caregiver.
And so…
You whole-heartedly took on the task at hand with a joyful spirit determined to give the job 100% of your abilities!
Because you knew that it would take 100% or EVERYTHING you have to give!
PROBABLY NOT.
More than likely, a serious of events thrust you into the position of Caregiver. All of the sudden you woke up and realized that Caregiving had become your day job.
So, was there a choice?
Possibly but if you chose the option NOT to be a Caregiver and leave your loved one to fend for themselves, is that a choice that you could live with?
And if not, was there ever really a choice?
My Mother did not ask me to be her Caregiver. When it became apparent (after a series of strokes) that she could not live alone, she did not have a plan. The strokes seemed to have affected her cognitive abilities because her immediate plan appeared to be me.
I was raised to honor my Mother and as such, I saw no other option. Someone had to step up to be the Family Caregiver. And that someone was me.
And that’s what happens. Even when there is more than one child, one sibling steps up to assume the role. And once the role has been assumed, good luck trying to find a successor, a volunteer, the sixth man off the bench, or any assistance whatsoever.
A heart attack, slip & fall, cancer diagnosis, stoke, surgery, any other extreme illness or simply old age are just a few of the conditions that could lead to the need for a Caregiver.
Long-term health insurance may cover the cost of in-home Caregiving but statistics show that in most cases, a family member is the solution to an ongoing problem.
It’s easy for people to say that one “makes a choice” to be a Caregiver. I don’t see things in that manner.
For me, becoming a Caregiver was the only option available at the time.
I did not have a choice.
Because if I had had a choice, I would have chosen otherwise. I would have chosen “ME” or would I?
How about you?
JOHN MAYER – “WAITING ON THE WORLD TO CHANGE”
https://youtu.be/oBIxScJ5rlY?si=YZ6O6t2R8oJZ6WMk
A CAREGIVER’S CONSCIENCE BLOG
A CAREGIVER’S CONSCIENCE PODCAST – “I WANT TO LIVE”
When I read your post about coming from Los Angeles, your brother and so forth, I thought out loud, “this is me!”
I’ve tried explaining to my brother about what I’m going through but he just doesn’t “get it”. I don’t blame him for that. He’s not living here so he really doesn’t have an understanding of the day to day stuff. He comes to visit but then goes home and back to his life. I just don’t bother anymore.
Caregiver is draining – physically, emotionally and financially.
I too have been told that I will be thankful, that I’m a good daughter, I’ll be blessed someday and many other things that no one should say to a caregiver.
Yes, hopefully we’ll survive this journey but this past week has been “challenging”. The kind where I want to get in my car and just keep driving…
I read your comment, and I thought – she sounds just like me, I don’t “know” how she feels-I feel how she feels. And then I didn’t know what to say.
I decided to think about it hoping that perhaps I could say something uplifting, encouraging or give U advice. It’s 2morrow morning and I got nothing.
I know that saying, “Get in your car and drive ANYWHERE else,” would not be helpful. It’s not a viable option.
All I have is my Caregiver’s experiences. I will tell you, when I feel as if I’m not going to make it, I intentionally think, inhale, believe, and sometimes say aloud, “I AM NOT GOING TO DIE HERE (Taking care of U)!” It gets me through the moment because the focus (at least for that moment) is on me LIVING.
I should probably mention that my Car is in storage in California. So, I cannot truly say that I wouldn’t be Cruisin’ down Route 66. 🚗
I was living in the Los Angeles area and one day I get a call – my mother asked me to be her caregiver. Of course, being single and childless, she thought of me first. I do have a brother that is married so of course his life couldn’t be disrupted. Lucky me. So, I moved back to my hometown in the Midwest – which I hate. I so miss my old life…
Wow! Our stories are exactly the same. For me (single with no children) it was Los Angeles to New England (which I do not love) complete with a married brother whose life goes on. Thank you for sharing a little of your story–it makes me feel as if I am not alone. I hope reading the Blog does the same for you. I too miss my old life more than words can describe. Let’s plan on making it through this Caregiver journey and making it back to LA one of these days. 🎈🎈🎈
It is an unexpected heartbreak.
I am told that one of these days, I will be Thankful that I stepped up to be my Mom’s Caregiver and I will treasure these memories. I hope “they” are right. 😥