CAREGIVER – A PRIVILEGE OR A PUNNISHMENT?
One of my Cousins suggested that I look at the “opportunity” to be my Mother’s Caregiver as a privilege versus a punishment or life sentence. Her opinion is one that I generally consider and so I decided to take a moment to contemplate what she said.
In business, most decisions are evaluated via a SWOT (Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities, Threats) analysis or a simple Pros & Cons list. I have definitely utilized both tools extensively. And so, in considering my Cousin’s words of wisdom, I opted for a version of the Pros & Cons process.
Being my Mom’s Caregiver has afforded me the privilege of spending quality time with her. Although, I often resent being somewhere that I do not want to be.
As my Mother’s Caregiver I have the opportunity to make memories and to “Honor thy Mother,” in the manner we are taught as children. However, in order to create these memories and honor my Mom, I have put my entire life on hold.
As a Caregiver, I get to laugh with my Mother while watching the funnier episodes of her favorite sitcoms. I also have many moments when I am simply sad and miserable.
I love to cook and cooking for my Mom gives me a chance to showcase my culinary skills while making sure that she has a much healthier diet. However, preparing 3 meals a day—everyday, with little to no appreciation, makes me feel like an indentured servant.
As my Mom’s Caregiver, I have gotten to know the woman behind, “Mommy,” Unfortunately, that character knowledge does not go both ways. My Mom does not seem to realize that I am not a teenager, I am a “grown-ass woman” (that’s a cool song) who has become a Caregiver.
As my Mother’s Caregiver, I get to be the one who attends to my Mother’s every need. Funny, the punishment is exactly the same as the privilege; I am the one who attends to my Mother’s every need.
Embarking on a new career reluctantly or not is an opportunity to learn new things and acquire new skills. Albeit the knowledge and skillset learned as a Caregiver includes a multitude of things I didn’t want to know or learn.
I see being a Caregiver as a chance to express my love, care, and concern for my Mother. Well, that’s how I feel when I’m not experiencing extreme stress and frustration.
And so, you see, for every “privilege” I acknowledge, there is a closely associated “punishment.”
I suppose if I have to answer the question directly, “Is being a Caregiver a privilege or a punishment?” I would say,
“I believe that it is very difficult as an active Caregiver to really allow the privilege to overcome the punishment.”
Or simply said after a complete Pros & Cons analysis,
“It all depends on the day!”
“A CAREGIVER’S CONSCIENCE”
“GROWN ASS WOMAN”
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