As a Caregiver, What Are You Praying For?
Sometimes I wonder about my Wishes, Hopes and Dreams. When I think about what I want—what I really want, I do so without considering what comes first.
I often hope for an end to the situation at hand. I dream of the day when I get my life back. I wish for rest, for help, for a plane ticket going anywhere!
But what does that mean?
The situation at hand is—me as my Mother’s Caregiver. And so how exactly does this situation end?
My life takes place over 3000 miles away. And since there is no Yellow Brick Road back to my world, what has to happen for me to get back to the place I call home?
And then sometimes, I simply pray, “Help!” At those times I am clearly looking for the intervention of a higher power. For me, that would be God.
I tend to leave it at that. It’s easier that way. Even now, while I am supposed to be writing about my conscience, I’m not sure that my heart and mind are ready for what my conscience is feeling.
I have never been the person who asks how or why things happen. I generally accept things as they are. For instance, I don’t know why the sky is blue; I simply accept that it is.
But there is a contradiction. In Business, I always prided myself on the ability to make things happen. And to make things happen one must be strategic and have a tactical plan. In Business and often in my Personal life, I do ask, “Why not?”
So, on one hand, I accept that things are the way that they are—I am a Caregiver. However, on the other hand, I cannot accept that things will be the way they are forever. I see an end—I see my future. Why not?
I believe that I will not always be a Caregiver; however, I do not have a plan or even a clue as to how this situation comes to an end. I have absolutely no idea as to how to bring my hopes, wishes, or dreams to fruition.
And the truth is, I don’t think about the series of events that must occur or the moves that I have to make in order for me to get back to the life I used to love.
The reality is, I cannot or will not entertain any notions of what needs to happen for these days as a Caregiver to end.
I will in the meantime wish upon a Star for my Dreams to come true and continue to have Faith in my Hope for a future beyond being a Caregiver.
And so, I will end here. Sometimes as a Caregiver, you have to ask yourself for a real answer to the question, “What are you Praying for?”
“Do you know…”
CONFESSION – A Caregiver’s Conscience (caregiversconscience.com)
Diana Ross – “Do You Know Where You’re Going”
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