When the Caregiver speaks, it appears that no one is actually listening.
I find myself saying the same things over and over again. Repeating myself to my Family, Friends and anyone who insists on engaging in conversation.
The thing is more and more, I have come to realize that the reason I must continually repeat myself is because no one is actually listening.
I have some phrases that are programmed on replay as a constant loop.
The first such phrase is, “I’m so tired.”
Perhaps you think that you understand those 3 simple words. Coming from a Caregiver, those three-four little words mean so much more. They mean:
- I am so tired, that I can’t think.
- My head literally hurts when I attempt to explain why I am exhausted.
- My body refuses to move as I need because my muscles ache in pain
- I am unable to comprehend what you just said
- Like a little kid, although mentally, physically and emotionally TIRED, I will be unable to sleep or get any kind of rest.
“I’m so tired!”
Then there is my favorite, the Caregiver’s version of “no comment.” I can’t tell you how many times a day that I am forced to say,
“My Mother is fine. She is well taken care of.”
What I really mean is:
- Mind your business
- You don’t care about my Mom; you’re just being nosey.
- So, you don’t care how I am?
- Must you ask that each & every time that you see me (which could be multiple times a day).
- NO COMMENT
“My Mother is fine. She is well taken care of.”
When the Caregiver says, “I don’t think that I can do this anymore,” the Caregiver means:
- I give up
- I am physically and mentally unable to handle this position
- I honestly think that Caregiving is having a negative effect in many areas of my life
- I don’t want to die
- I am not nearly as “strong” as you may think
- I have reached my Wits End
“I don’t think that I can do this anymore.”
When the Caregiver says, “Thank You,” it means so much more. WHEN THE CAREGIVER SAYS THANK U
“Thank You!”
When the Caregiver speaks, the Caregiver simply wants someone to listen. Unless specifically asked, the Caregiver is not interested in anyone’s opinion, well-meaning advice or constructive criticism. WHAT NOT TO SAY TO THE CAREGIVER
But because actually LISTENING is a skillset which many individuals do not possess, the Caregiver is often times forced to be silent or is unavailable to speak. Why speak when you know no one is listening?
My Caregiving situation is a little less dire, because if you have read to the end of this Blog Story than you are indeed listening.
‘THANK YOU!”
THE WHO – “TOMMY CAN YOU HEAR ME”
https://youtu.be/X71AqqaumGI?si=GbSIcAo_b8Fe7LBF
Fraiser – I’m listening
THANK YOU! Dr. Krane😎