KILLING THE CAREGIVER (Part 1)
The Caregiver is dying. Right before your very eyes. And if not the Caregiver as a whole being whom is in peril, but bits and pieces of the Caregiver for sure.
The Caregiver’s former life is over.
Free time, Me time, Fun times have passed away
Patience, Empathy, Compassion are slowly yet completely becoming extinct.
The Caregiver is painfully losing all sense of self.
The Caregiver is dying!
And if that is not a tragedy in itself, there are factors literally actively killing the Caregiver.
The Medical Profession is at the top of the list of murder weapons.
Because killing is definitely murder.
Let me give you an example of how adventures in the land of medicine are impacting–actually killing the Caregiver.
My Mother has good insurance – not necessarily in providing the exact benefits needed (home health care) but definitely in terms of unnecessary tests, exams and follow-up visits.
A few weeks ago, my Mom fell and skinned her knee.
Literally skinned her knee – like a little kid. The skin was not broken, no bleeding and no swelling. I cleaned the wound, administered Neosporin and a band aid. Since she complained of pain, I gave her an ice pack and Tylenol.
I am not a Mom; therefore, it did not occur to me to “kiss it and make it better.” Perhaps if I had, things would have ended there. But…
A day or so later, still experiencing pain, she called her PCP. In an effort to avoid a doctor visit, I called the Home Visiting Doctors service provided by my Mother’s Health Insurance.
The primary purpose of this Service is to provide in-home medical care versus travelling to Urgent Care or waiting for days to see the PCP.
The Doctor was able to visit the following morning.
Upon chatting and examining my Mother’s knee which was already healing, the doctor suggested an x-ray exam.
Although she was certain the knee was not broken, sprained or even bruised, she felt an x-ray would be good. “To be on the safe side,” were her exact words.
I was in slight agreement with “to be on the safe side.” But I was a tad skeptical as no one seemed to want to acknowledge that a skinned knee at her age would of course be much more painful now than if she were younger. And then there is the fact that she is extremely lucky that she did not really injure her knee or break her hip!
The next day we traveled for the Walk in Xray exam. The set-up for this Medical Imaging facility was most inconvenient and barely handicap assessable.
Knowing my Mom was in pain and sensing we had a long walk to the procedure, I offered to push her on her walker.
Even so, there were 2 sets of 3 steps that she had to navigate.
This whole adventure caused my Mother additional pain. Manipulating her leg to accommodate the x-ray only caused to increase the irritation. Meanwhile the knee was healing beautifully and showed no signs of scarring.
When the PCP called to discuss the results, he noted that the technician and doctor who reviewed the exams saw nothing but suggested an MRI to confirm.
My Mom’s Doctor made the mistake of speaking aloud his thoughts. Quoting him exactly “I don’t understand this…He sees something that could indicate arthritis having nothing to do with the fall, and”
I interrupted him to inquire, “He saw something having nothing to do with the fall?”
“He doesn’t see anything conclusive. It’s my guess that it’s nothing. But we should do the MRI to check the box.”
Check the box. In my former corporate world checking the box is the equivalent of covering your ass in case something comes up later.
He then said, “and because of the fall, she should get a tetanus shot. She hasn’t had a tetanus shot in the 25 years that I’ve been her doctor.” Yet another box to check. And how important can this possibly be since Dr. Doolittle (her PCP) hasn’t seen the need for the past 25 years!
It took several days and a “peer to peer’ consult for the Insurance company to approve the MRI. This was another indication of the lack of necessity for an MRI.
Due to the fact that it was not considered an emergency, the first available appointment was two weeks later
In the meantime, I scheduled the tetanus shot. Mind you the incubation time for any issues due to falling on gravel had long since passed. Dr. Doolittle admitted that when questioned.
I only scheduled the Tetanus vaccine as a preventative measure for future falls. Checking the box.
The day finally came for the pre-scheduled MRI.
The tech was visibly surprised when my Mom explained that not only did she feel NO pain, but the knee had also healed leaving no visible evidence of a fall.
The MRI proceeded as scheduled. The entire medical escapade took approximately two hours. After which, my Mother exclaimed, “Now my whole leg hurts!”
This episode could have been avoided if just one of these Medical Professionals had acknowledged that scrapes and falls can be dangerous, but this one was not. And healing takes longer when you’re eighty than when you are eight.
This journey on the Medical high road took 7 weeks to reach the end destination.
A destination which I had diagnosed and mapped out many weeks ago.
7 weeks of wear & tear on a Caregiver’s Conscience due to a Medical Profession which in this case clearly exploited the insurance benefits.
Keeping up with Medical appointments and procedures puts enough pressure on the Caregiver. That pressure comes with the position.
HOWEVER, The addition of unnecessary medical appointments is KILLING the CAREGIVER!!!
The results of the MRI are completely normal and do not indicate that there even was a fall. Therefore, I respectfully decline the offer of a follow-up office visit. What I really want to say is, “Are you f***king serious!”
Thank you, Dr. Doolittle. I understand that your primary concern is the health of your patient. Please be advised that your patient is in the care of a Caregiver who is a tad closer to burn out after each unnecessary medical encounter.
Note to the Medical Profession–Caregiver Burnout is a hazard to everyone’s health. When ordering a procedure or exam to “check the box,” or capitalized on insurance payments, remember…
“You Are Killing the Caregiver!”
And the next time my Mother skins her knee, I will definitely “kiss it to make it better.”
This Song gained increased popularity/exposure when featured in the Hit Series, “Grey’s Anatomy”
THE FRAY – “HOW TO SAVE A LIFE”
https://youtu.be/cjVQ36NhbMk?si=oDtXI9w2Hqzz2rNV
A CAREGIVER’S CONSCIENCE PODCAST – “THE CAREGIVER & THE DOCTOR”
https://youtu.be/ndWaDwr4urQ?si=cyJOAqq6w5IK_Zug
A CAREGIVER’S CONCIENCE – THE BLOG
No bother, you will be reborn better than ever. Is the Dr’s name really Doolittle? Hmm…
Thank U for the support. The names have been changed to protect the guilty! 🤣