I’VE FALLEN AND I CAN’T GET UP
What happens when someone has fallen and the Caregiver cannot help them get up?
Perhaps you remember that commercial or you’ve seen a recent version of the Life Alert Commercial which features an elderly woman living alone who has fallen and literally cannot get up.
I remember and I also remember finding the advertisement rather amusing. The things that you think of when you’re young, dumb and full of yourself—really. I remember a time when falling and not being able to get up was something I could never imagine. Until now.
Yesterday, that commercial happened in my real life.
This is the story of Tom.
I see Tom almost every single day. We go for our morning coffee at about the same time. I walk to Starbucks, and he walks to McDonalds. We don’t’ walk together but at some point, on our daily journeys, we meet. We meet and Tom tells me a joke or a riddle.
There are times when I find this daily ritual annoying, but I always stop and chat with him. I listen to his jokes, and I laugh at the appropriate time, whether I am amused or not. And most of the time, the jokes are not at all funny. It’s been a minute and so he consistently repeats the same riddles.
Tom thinks that I’m a “smart little cookie” because I can usually solve his riddle. I’m good but I must mention that he has told me these riddles previously or the riddle is so simple a child could answer. “Holy Ridler Batman, you solved the problem!”
Yesterday, I was returning from Starbucks, walking up the hill to my Mother’s complex when I noticed Tom. I actually saw him topple over and fall flat on his face into a bed of large rocks. I scurried over to him to assist him in getting up all the while knowing that physically I was unable to help him.
I weigh 100 pounds—soaking wet with all of my clothes on and a pair of boots. And although I am a tad stronger than I look—I’m not really that strong. I work out to look good and remain healthy rather than to gain muscle strength. Whatever. I knew that I would not be able to get him up.
Even so, when I reached him, I tried to lift him to no avail. I was scared and I didn’t know what to do. Tom insisted that he did not want me to call 911. I know that Tom lives all alone and since I was not in a position to travel with him to the hospital, I obeyed his wish.
Luckily, we were on the edge of a parking lot and cars were passing by. I attempted to stop the first car which continued on without stopping.
Next, a man on a motorcycle was coming towards us. I walked out into the parking lot—not totally in front of his bike but in a place where he couldn’t help but notice me. I was waving my arms frantically and shouting, “Please help me help him!”
The Motorcycle Driver pulled over to the side and got off his bike. He saw Tom, laying on the rocks and immediately began to help him up.
Tom was protesting saying, “I can do it!”
It was clear that he could not.
“Tom, please let him help you. He’s strong and he’s got you.” I was pleading with Tom while trying to hold back my tears.
The Motorcycle Rider said, “Hold on Boss, I got you. Let me help you.”
Tom was more concerned with his cigarettes and his McDonalds coffee than he was with his physical predicament.
“I’ve got your coffee, your Marlboros and your lighter. Let him take care of you.”
When Tom was settled and seated properly on the bench, I asked, “Tom, do you want me to stay with you?”
“No, I’m ok.”
To which the Motorcycle Rider said, “Just stay with him until you’re sure that he’s ok.”
Tom insisted, “You don’t have to stay. I’m ok.”
But I sat down beside him. And I stayed.
He Thanked me for helping him but didn’t seem to recall the Motorcycle Rider.
“I know everyone who drives through here, I have never seen him before,”
“Sometimes, God sends Angels to help you just when you need them.” As I realized that the Motorcycle was now nowhere in sight.
“Have you ever seen him before?” Tom asked in a quiet voice.
“No,” I responded and then began to reflect.
The Motorcycle Rider was dressed entirely in black—from head to toe. He had on black and white sneakers, but he had put a black mesh cover over them—I supposed to make sure that his sneakers did not get dirty while riding. His black T-shirt actually had a caption written on it which I was too freaked out to read. But I had a strange feeling that the caption contained a message—a message that I did not receive because I didn’t’ take the time to read it.
Tom said, “How did he happen to stop?”
“I flagged him down and asked him to help us.”
“You’re a good friend,” he said. “But you don’t have to stay.”
“Well, I need to sit here and compose myself.” I said in my strongest, “I’m not going anywhere voice.”
“You worry about me, I see.”
“Yes,” I replied softly.
I sat there beside him knowing full well that he would rather that I leave. But I did not.
At this point the first car, the car which had continued to drive away circled back and parked beside us.
A woman got out of the car and said, “I’m so sorry that I didn’t stop. I thought that you were waving to say Hello, but I looked back and saw you trying to help Tom.”
“Thank you for coming back,” I said with deep appreciation.
“Well, I knew that you couldn’t get him up all by yourself.”
But I wasn’t by myself. I started to say that when I realized that she had not seen the guy on the Motorcycle.
“I was lucky that the Motorcycle Rider stopped to help.”
“What Motorcycle?” she said and then turned her attention to Tom.
“Are you ok Tom?”
Tom knew the woman. She explained in Spanish that she sees Tom everyday and always stops to say hello.
Once she was satisfied that Tom seemed alright, she returned to her car and drove off.
Tom and I sat together in silence while he smoked a cigarette.
When he finished smoking, he looked at me and said, “You wanna hear a joke?”
My heart stopped beating as if it was going to explode and I smiled knowing that Tom was going to be just fine.
“Mary had a little lamb and Mary had a Bear. I’ve often seen her little lamb but …
“I’ve never seen her Bare.” We finished the last line in unison.
And we laughed.
“Are you going up?” Tom asked.
“Are you?”
“Yes,” he replied as he began to get up from where he was seated.
“Then we’ll walk up together.”
We walked the remainder of the way together in silence. Both of us reflecting on what had just happened.
Tom had fallen and he couldn’t get up.
What frightened me most was that I was physically unable to help him.
I was scared; however, God apparently sent an Angel to help.
An Angel on a Motorcycle.
ALICIA KEYS – “FALLIN'”
https://youtu.be/Urdlvw0SSEc?si=H_b81T_hChH5KQi9
A CAREGIVER’S CONSCIENCE PODCAST – “NOW OR LATER”
https://youtu.be/B-U_ct5jpl4?si=yi2hL37odtpCexmR
A CAREGIVER’S CONSCIENCE BLOG
NOTE: I have seen Tom several times since his fall – he seems to be just fine. Although I am not really a Doctor, I just play one on days like this…
As unusual, great songs.
Thank you for Reading & Listening.