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I CAN’T GO TO HR

December 7, 2022December 7, 2022

Caregivers are a Human Resource. Yet, there is no HR Department for Caregivers.

Caregiver’s do not perform their daily duties in the Corporate World with Human Resource Departments.

Especially those Caregivers who are Unpaid Relatives!

My friends call me all the time for advice. Business advice to be exact. I have held Senior Level positions in several Top Fortune 500 Corporations–Coca Cola, Pepsico, General Motors, IPG and Publicis. As they say, “this isn’t my first rodeo!” Except that it actually is–I had zero experience as a Caregiver before becoming one.

But they are not calling for Caregiving Cares & Concerns.

They are calling to ask what to do about the Co-worker who is sabotaging their work.

They are calling to ask what excuse to use to take a much-needed day off. That’s my personal favorite. I am a whiz at coming up with excuses that result in a day off from work. The key is to make sure the excuse is rooted in the truth. For instance, “I am not going to be able to make it into the office today, because I am not feeling 100%.” As you can see that particular excuse isn’t a bold face lie since it isn’t really making any illness claims. I always discourage people from saying that they or their kids are sick–that usually becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Sometimes, they call to ask how to manage the incompetency of a direct Supervisor. Working for major corporations has given me extensive experience in dealing with mediocracy.

And so, I listen to their stories and give the appropriate advice.

I listen and for a while I am totally distracted from my Caregiving responsibilities. I am able to put myself in my Friend’s situations and act accordingly. Or at least advise them on how to act accordingly.

For most of my Friends, I am the Human Resource Department. I am the HR Manager to whom they can vent without fear of notices being filed in folders which affect their professional futures.

And I am usually correct in the advice given. Let’s be honest, I am always right! I have the ability to see each situation clearly from all sides and to offer advice which leads to the best possible outcome. The best possible outcome when they follow said advice exactly as given.

And so, even though my friends are painfully aware of my Caregiving situation and of my lack of time for anything else, they call to ask for advice.

I don’t mind.

It’s just that, they are unable to return the favor. Yes, my friends are available to listen, but the cares and concerns of a Caregiver are unique to the Caregiving experience. Therefore, they are not able to provide relevant advice or reassurance.

There is no obvious answer to the questions of what to do about a TV blasting all night or an overflowing toilet due to flushable wipes which are not in fact flushable.

I do not have a supervisor to call with an ever-ready excuse for a day off.

Although I do wake up every day not feeling 100% like myself.

All throughout the day, I deal with the incompetency of the Senior Health Care system.

And my Mother consistently seems to undermine everything that I do to help her.

As a Caregiver, I long for a Human Resource Department with a “Suggestion Box,” outside the office door.

I would like to discuss a Career Path if not leading to the “top” at least that leads to a promotion beyond Caregiving.

Unfortunately, there is no HR Department for the Unpaid Relatives who occupy the position of Caregiver!

Just, my Caregiver’s Conscience.