A Caregiver’s Nightmare
Flushable wipes? NIOT! Ok well in all fairness to the Manufacturers of flushable wipes—not in all cases.
One wipe at a time with little to no toilet paper; yes, in those circumstances they are flushable. In multiple uses and with massive amounts of toilet paper; no, not so much. With the latest high-powered toilet equipped with the newest technology, I’ll guess “Always.” I’ve stayed at the Four Seasons Hotel in Tokyo. You would be amazed by the things those toilets can achieve.
And I know all of this from experience. What the disposable wipes package needs is a disclaimer. I’m not sure what it would say. But something to the effect of “Do not use multiple wipes at once in hazardous situations as there is a 98% chance of the toilet clogging.”
And that is how my morning began!
I woke up this morning as most healthy individuals do—horny or having to go to the bathroom or maybe both. But you know my situation. I woke up this morning to go to the bathroom—after which I can usually go back to a semi sleep for between 15-45 minutes, which is important because I was awake all night long! I woke up and went in to the “lady’s room” to find a clogged toilet.
WTF!
I knew exactly what to do and proceeded to do so. After adorning purple plastic gloves, grabbing the un-clog thingy, a pair of tongs and some bleach, I began. All the while saying to myself and anyone else who would listen, “Seriously is this how my morning begins!”
I knew exactly what to do because this has happened before. The first time my Mother insisted that she didn’t use any flushable wipes. Of course, I didn’t believe her but I didn’t want to embarrass her any further and so I dropped the subject.
The second time, I muttered and cursed to myself while retrieving not one but up to three flushable wipes in addition to everything else that remained in the toilet bowl. At that time, I explained to her that she should not use more than one wipe, and that the wipes were not to be used in place of toilet paper. I also suggested “flushing while you go.” To which she replied that she had only used one.
Now the thing about these wipes is that they do not disintegrate or dissolve into manageable pieces. They remain totally and completely intact. Much like when you eat corn. Although you chew and digest the corn, it always seems to come and go in full cornels. But back to the wipes.
While she was denying using the wipes that I could clearly see, I seriously thought about throwing one at her. I of course resisted the urge.
For the third time in a very short period of time, this morning at around 6:47 am. Well at exactly that time, I arose to go to the bathroom and found the toilet clogged.
I began the process of un-clogging while still having “to go” and I didn’t engage her in any conversation other than to politely ask her not to stare at me while I cleaned up her mess. Why she felt the need to stare and not offer any assistance whatsoever, I have no idea.
What I do know, is that cleaning up someone else’s shit—not because there has been an accident but because she insists on using multiple wipes and toilet paper in one sitting SUCKS!
As her Caregiver, I can and will decide that Flushable Wipes will no longer be on the shopping list. The disadvantages far outweigh any benefits. After all, for most of my Mother’s lifetime Flushable Wipes did not even exist.
And so, begins my day. This is one of the many reasons that Day-Drinking is a thing. I can tell, Wine O’clock is going to come early today.
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