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COPING AS A CAREGIVER

February 26, 2025

COPING AS A CAREGIVER

As a Caregiver, I have found the need to find coping mechanisms.

Coping as a Caregiver can be hard. Miriam-Webster defines “cope” as the ability to deal with and attempt to overcome problems and difficulties.

I have to find a way to cope with Caregiving. And the manners in which I am finding “to cope” are rather non-traditional. I’m not sure why I would describe my coping mechanisms as non-traditional since there is nothing traditional about Caregiving itself.

Anyway, as my Mother’s Caregiver, I often find myself dealing with problems and difficult situations. I suppose the manner in which I cope with these problematic situations is entirely up to me. After all, what works for one Caregiver may not work for another.

My first response to a frustrating circumstance is to Scream. I don’t mean raise my voice; I mean SCREAM! My plan B is to Sing. I quickly click on my YouTube Caregiver Playlist and sing at the top of my lungs. That means that I am often Screaming and Singing at the same time. I can’t imagine how that may sound to others. But I Sing while Screaming with the full confidence that I know all the words to all the songs!

I then often react by Slamming and Throwing things. I find this behavior extremely comforting. However, after such a noisy outburst, I end up with a headache. That reminds me, I have been meaning to investigate whether or not this town has a “Hatchet Throwing” experience.

Headaches typically lead me to try Tylenol or Advil to alleviate the pressure. Who am I kidding? There are times I actually hurt myself while slamming or throwing things. I have cut my finger on a glass that I didn’t mean to break or mistakenly closed my hand in one of those cabinets I was intently slamming. Envisioning those scenes actually makes me laugh.

When an analgesic does not effectively act as a coping tool, there is always Wine. I drink wine because Tequila and Apple Martinis are not so much coping tools as they are used for entertainment purposes. After 2 shots of Tequila, I can be found singing the “Tequila Song” one minute away from dancing on stage with the band. Wine simply relaxes me to a point of Caregiver submission. Caregiver submission is the state when I simply accept my Caregiving responsibilities and unclog the toilet or clean up a spill without Screaming.

Dancing helps. Playing my favorite dance tunes and practicing moves that may never see the dance floor takes my mind off the problems at hand. Sometimes Dancing is paired with Screaming and Singing—the trifecta.

Marijuana is legal in this state, and I typically find THC helpful in maintaining a calm balance. However, this is a Non-Smoking building and the average temperature for many months of the year is below 40-degrees. Smoking weed only qualifies as a summer coping device.

Talking through complications with others only helps sometimes. Personally, I find Screaming far more effective.

Before Caregiving, I found it much easier to cope when confronted with things that I would rather not deal with. Coping as a Caregiver is much more difficult.

Writing has always been an activity which helped me to cope because writing helps me figure things out. And so, I keep a daily journal, and I publish “A Caregiver’s Conscience—the Blog.” Writing, however, has not been helpful in figuring out this Caregiver Life. Yet still, I write.

Other Coping Skills include Prayer, Meditation, and Visualization.

My daily, hourly consistent prayer is simply, “PLEASE HELP.” And if I pay attention, I see my help in a variety of ways. For instance, everyone is still alive.

Meditation helps me to focus and encourage myself. “Don’t Stop Believing!” are the words on which I concentrate the most.

And I am always visualizing my happy places—somewhere that I have been and somewhere that I want to be. Visualizing paints a hopeful picture in my mind. Both pictures include a Beach by the Ocean.

Problems and Difficulties are inherent in Caregiving. Coping as a Caregiver comes in many different ways.

I just found a local establishment that offers “Axe throwing with Small Town Hospitality!” Are you in?