CAREGIVER’S COINS
A Penny 4 your thoughts.
“As a Caregiver, I feel as if I just stepped into someone else’s life. And I want my life back!”
And so, I started writing this Blog. Because I am a Writer, and I was determined to write. I allow myself to believe that I am a Writer first and then a Caregiver. I began writing two entries per week but quickly realized that that commitment was going to be hard to keep. The first time that I acknowledged that startling fact I called someone who responded very quickly when I said, “I don’t think that I can keep up with 2 stories per week, but I feel that I need consistency and…”
He interrupted me saying, “Have you read your Blog? No, you do not have the time to write 2 stories each week!”
And so, the truth of the matter became my reality, I am a Writer whose caregiver duties sometimes pre-empt my Writing. I do believe that words have power; thus, I have chosen my words carefully. Because at this moment, 12:05am. I am writing.!!! TB2G
“Sometimes I feel alone and as if no one understands what I am going thru being my Mother’s caregiver,”
And I realize the more that I write, how important it is to know that I am not alone. And on some level, of course I do know that I am not the only Caregiver with similar thoughts; but perhaps I am feeling that no one in my immediate circle understands how I feel. Then I begin to wonder if it’s just me. Should I feel that being a Caregiver is a privilege versus a penance? Should I simply “just leave,” and see what happens? Could I actually even do that—just leave? Perhaps I have some weird sense of obligation or a secret desire to torture myself? Sometimes, I wonder.
“I want to share my daily reality (good, bad, funny, and sad) of being a Caregiver because I feel that it is important to ‘tell the others’”
And writing about my daily reality in an effort to “tell the others” is perhaps the hardest thing to do. Because the first thing is to write about a situation or occurrence that may or may not be unpleasant in the case of “Flushable Wipes” or extremely frustrating as illustrated in “Financially In-Between,” or annoyingly described in every detail in “All Night Long!”
While recounting each story in words, I have essentially relived each event yet another time. And then it must be proofread which requires another interaction of horror in my mind. The last step is actually posting the story and of course reading it once again in final format.
Each time I read, “All Night Long” I was yet overcome by a sense of exhaustion as I remembered why I hadn’t gotten any sleep—not all night long.
It is not always easy to Tell the Others
But these truths must be self-evident…
I am a Writer
I am not alone as a Caregiver
It is important to Tell the Others
A penny for your thoughts
0