A CAREGIVER’S CONNECTION
This is a solo journey–this Caregiving for my Mother. And it is not a journey for which I purchased a ticket. I’m flying solo heading somewhere I don’t want to go.
And most of the time, I feel pretty lonely when I am rarely alone.
As I’ve been wandering down this Caregiving Road, I have met some fellow travelers. They are people who truly understand what I’m going through being my Mom’s Caregiver. And they understand because they are on similar journeys. They are Caregivers.
Early on while on this journey, I met a man who had been his Mother’s Caregiver the last two years of her life. We made a connection when he made a confession. He admitted that although he felt extremely guilty for doing so, he wished his Mother would die. His Mom had Alzheimer disease and he explained that she wasn’t living a good life and he essentially had no life at all. He prayed for an end. I not only understood how he felt, but he also inspired me to create this Caregiver’s Conscience Blog.
At another stop on the journey, I interacted with a Verizon Representative who told me that she was a Caregiver for her ex-husband. She explained that she had control over his Medical needs and also his Finances. She shared the difficulties that she has encountered as she attempts to ensure that he has adequate healthcare. We made a connection due to our mutual disappointment in dealing with an in-efficient healthcare system.
Then there was the COX Cable Agent who gave me tips on how to avoid additional charges when my Mother has mistakenly ordered pay-per-view events that she doesn’t intend to watch. He had personal experience with a similar situation. His wife is her Father’s Caregiver, and he resides in their home. He walked me through the process to add a security passcode which would prevent my Mom from making that mistake. He was very helpful and right on time. Later that evening my Mom called me into her room because she was on the pay-per-view ordering screen, and she needed a code to continue.
A connection was made with the Cable Guy, the minute I explained my television dilemma. And we laughed together while we commiserated about TVs blasting at a high volume all night long.
When I connect with other Caregivers, I don’t feel so all alone. Just knowing that someone else understands is helpful.
Funny, I generally don’t’ mind traveling alone. I have been to Mexico almost 20 times and 15 have been solo trips. I rather enjoy traveling alone. However, there are many times on this journey when I wish that I had a companion.
This journey is a trip usually taken alone. At least that’s how it seems to me. Especially since the Caregivers with whom I’ve connected all seem to be flying solo.
I met someone here in this complex who is caring for her Mom. She is one of seven children, yet she is the only one available to help her Mother. She totally relates to the feeling of being an only child even though she has six siblings.
After listening to “A Caregiver’s Conscience” – the Podcast, she stopped by to give me a hug. She hugged me and said, “I feel as if you’re writing my story!”
She told me about preparing meals for her Mother that go unappreciated. She explained that her Mom’s TV is on at a high volume all night long and the only difference is that her favorite programs are in Portuguese. As we spoke, we realized that our journeys were so similar we were able to complete each other’s sentences. We made a Caregiver’s connection.
Frustration, Resentment, Anger, and Hostility are feelings that flow through a Caregiver’s Conscience. Add a hefty dosage of Guilt as the “cherry on top,” and it’s hard to feel good about being a Caregiver.
But when a connection is made with another Caregiver, you realize that you’re not alone and you are indeed doing the right thing–a good thing.
It’s just not an easy journey.
As a Caregiver, you are on a journey often following the road less taken.
A Caregiver’s Conscience – YouTube
THE PODCAST
“A CAREGIVER’S CONSCIENCE”
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