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OTHER PEOPLE’S CHILDREN

April 23, 2025

OTHER PEOPLE’S CHILDREN

Sometimes I wonder, not a lot, but sometimes I wonder about other people’s children.

And then there are times when people even compliment me on my efforts to care for my Mom in reference to other people’s children. Since I am currently residing in a Senior Living Community, many of the residents’ comment on the fact that there are quite a few people with children whose children never seem to visit. Other people’s children.

I have just one thing to say regarding “other people’s children.” It is simply this…There is a reason why you don’t see other people’s children and from the child’s perspective it is a good reason.

But still I wonder.

I wonder and then I look for differences in me and in other people’s children. Differences which would explain why I am here as my Mother’s Caregiver and other kids are not.

First, I must say that each and every one of my Friends who has found themselves in the position where a parent needed care has stepped up to provide that care. All of my Friends have been Caregivers—in many different capacities but Caregiver’s just the same. They have all walked in Caregiver shoes. They are not the children to whom I am referring. It’s the others.

Those are the stories I don’t know.

My Brother isn’t our Mother’s Caregiver because I am. That’s easily explained.

What about the people with kids who need Caregivers but who don’t have children stepping up to assume the position?

The thing is, I am well aware that there are two sides to every story. But I do find it interesting that many people’s children simply seem to have other plans.

Once the Pharmacist thanked me for accompanying my Mom to receive her vaccines. Her exact words were, “Some kids send their elderly parents here alone, so we Thank You for coming with her.” Other people’s children.

After watching me interact with my Mom, a woman at the Audiologist’s office told my Mother, “I envy your walker and your Daughter.” She looked at me and smiled. She continued to nod at me and smile as she walked out of the door. I wondered if she has children.

Today my Mother told me that she didn’t need me and that she was perfectly capable of living alone.

I seriously thought about leaving. I am still thinking about leaving.

The thing is, I know that she needs me. I know that she cannot live alone. I know that through the Grace of God and my being here, she is still alive. I know that the only reason she is “fine” is because she is well taken care of by me! I do not take that for granted.

I also believe that if I leave, she will die. If not immediately, much sooner than she would if I was here. I’m not sure that I could live with that. I need to be able to look in the mirror and like what I see when I’m looking at me.

But I don’t want to die while I am working so hard to keep her alive.

I stepped up to be her Caregiver because I didn’t believe that I had a choice. There was no one else. There is still no one else.

Right now, here at this moment, I sincerely wish that I was one of those other people’s children.

Other people’s children who live their own lives.

Other people’s children who don’t even try on the Caregiver shoes.

Other people’s children who have other plans.

Other people’s children who have good reasons for not being Caregivers.