THE MORNINGS
The mornings are the worst time of day for me as a Caregiver. And the mornings set the tone for the remainder of the day.
I wake up in the morning after getting little to no sleep the night before. I then immediately realize that I am somewhere that I don’t want to be.
I lay there for a brief instance when thoughts of the day ahead creep into my self-conscious.
As the sun shines (when it shines) brightly through the closed window blinds, I purposely attempt to brighten my spirits with Joyful thoughts. Sometimes that works–at least for a moment.
I neglected to mention, that I am not allowed to “wake up” naturally or even to the sound of an irritating alarm. My Mother wakes me up at “0 dark-thirty”—a time way before the cock crows or the birds sing. I awaken to the sounds of a TV blasting and my Mom stumbling & bumbling to get her coffee and breakfast.
I awaken and then although still drowsy, I am on Spill, Drop, Fall Patrol. And so, I lie there anticipating the day ahead.
I begin to become anxious thinking of the activities to come. It seems easier at this point to simply get out of bed and face the day.
Afterall, there are Depends to deal with, trash to empty and dishes to wash. I work on the tasks at hand all the while wondering where the trash and the dishes have come from. I wonder because I am certain that I emptied the trash and washed the dishes the night before.
My Mother usually takes this opportunity to say something completely annoying. Not responding is typically my first impulse; however, my Mother generally insists on an answer thus “pushing my buttons,” and motivating a negative reaction.
After cleaning up her breakfast mess, I administer medication and attempt to make pleasant conversation. This entails replaying a news story or commenting on a segment from the Today Show. Unless of course, my Mom has the desire to speak of the dead—yes, deceased people. And these people could range from Family members to mere acquaintances, to miscellaneous Celebrities to people we don’t know at all. Old people seem to be just a tad preoccupied with death and dying. But seriously, must we speak of the dead first thing in the morning?
Then it’s time for a shower—not mine, my Mother’s. During this time, I generally make her bed and straighten up a little while keeping my ear tuned for slips and falls. Being constantly on alert is actually exhausting. I may not be exerting any physical energy, but I am experiencing extreme mental anguish.
Now it’s time to prepare lunch. A boxed lunch is in order if my Mother is attending the weekly Senior Meeting or volunteering at Church. Since I am single with no children, preparing a boxed lunch is yet another version of the Caregiving chore of making “3 Meals a Day.” There is also the additional challenge of creating a meal that incites the envy of the other seniors. The high remarks the other seniors make about her boxed lunch are the closest thing to thanks or praise that I receive from my Mother. Caregivers are in desperate need of compliments.
Although the morning is barely in full swing, I have already experienced a multitude of Caregiving feelings. Anxiety, Anticipation, Exhaustion, Anger, Anguish, Helplessness, with a shot of Joy all occur each morning that I awaken as a Caregiver.
Perhaps, you’ve heard the Biblical expression of hope, “Joy comes in the Morning!” *
I have often felt the Joy of simply waking up in the morning anticipating an adventurous day. A day when I can make a difference in my life, in someone else’s life or in the world at large. It’s just been a long time since I’ve felt that way.
These days, I wake up in a Caregiver’s State of Mind.
Joy does come in the morning.
The Caregiver’s Challenge is carrying that Joy on for more than just a moment in the morning.
And it is much easier said than done—the morning sets the tone for the day.
HAROLD MELVIN & THE BLUENOTES – “WAKE UP EVERYBODY”
https://youtu.be/OOxoeGL3tTo?si=rLd31qAZ7kIKaLt_
A CAREGIVER’S CONSCIENCE – BLOG
A CAREGIVER’S CONSCIENCE PODCAST – “THE VOICES IN MY HEAD”
https://youtu.be/0npeaJygJ3c?si=vgeQekjOlg8hABac
*Psalm 30:5
For his anger endureth but a moment, in his favour is life: weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning.
I love reading your posts and your watching your videos. Your caregiver life mirrors mine in so many ways. Makes me feel like I’m not alone.
And your comment makes me feel as if I’m not alone. Thank you for reading and making a comment. We are NOT alone. Caregivers are in this together. Today, I’m feeling strong and confident enough to say, WE GOT THIS! Take care of YOU–as best U can.