Before becoming a Caregiver, I can honestly say that I always did talk to myself.
As a Writer, I talk to myself when I’m developing a plot, thinking through a storyline or creating a new character. Speaking aloud helps me think things through before I begin Writing. And when I’m deep in a Creative mode, I can hear my character’s voices in my head.
As a Caregiver, things are drastically different. And the voices in my head are all mine!
The voices in my Caregiver head are voices saying things that I’d rather not hear. Or saying things that my mind might think is helpful.
And they sound a little like this:
- You Got This!
- It doesn’t matter
- Do it Now or Do it Later
- I’m not crazy, I’m just a little unwell
- SERIOUSLY?
- Maybe no one can hear me
- WTF
- Calm down
- 100, 99, 98, 97, 96, 95… trying to get to sleep
- It’s ok
- It really doesn’t matter
- All Shall be Well
- HELP
- Don’t say anything, don’t say anything
- You Can Do It
- Don’t feel bad, you’re doing the best you can
- No, No, No, No, NO!
- Yes! You are in my way
- Now I lay me down to sleep…
- Please
- OK
- Help, I need someone
- What if I wasn’t here
- I’ll be ok. I’ll be ok. I’ll be ok. I’ll be ok
- I deserve an Award for this performance
- REALLY?
- 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10…
- Be Cool
- Don’t get upset
- Looks Like I Made It–through another day
That’s just a sample of the Voices in this Caregiver’s Head. Some of the phrases turn into a mantra which is then uttered out loud over and over again. Most of the time the Voices remain in my head. and are never ever muttered audibly. And at this point in the Caregiver journey, I am very familiar with the sounds, and I don’t find the voices unusual. They generally help prevent me from saying mean hurtful things or keep me from flying into a totally uncontrollable rage. And sometimes, the voices even manage to lift my spirits giving me the strength to carry on as a Caregiver.
However, there was a day when a particular voice spoke to me. It was a voice that I barely recognized as it didn’t sound like me at all.
The voice took on an animated tone and said very loudly,
“My name is Talky Tina, and I don’t like you very much.”
Talky Tina is a doll from the “Twilight Zone” 1960s TV Series. Not only does she speak but she seems to have magical if not evil powers as well. If you are familiar with the Episode, you know what I mean. If you are not, check out the 4th of July Twilight Zone Marathon, the Episode “Living Doll” is always included in the marathon line-up.
At any rate, the moment I heard Talky Tina’s voice in my head, I knew that I had entered the Caregiver’s Twilight Zone.
My Name is Chatty Caregiver, and I don’t like being Mommy’s Caregiver, do you want to do it?
THE POLICE – “VOICES INSIDE MY HEAD”
https://youtu.be/i8quZ4Ruek8?si=DycH1Urnay_ynCSB
A CAREGIVER’S CONSCIENCE PODCAST – “A CAREGIVER IN BONDAGE”
https://youtu.be/xMQuRrDxueA?si=evvvxVqtke2e00PK
A CAREGIVER’S CONSCIENCE BLOG
Perfect song, your have got to be your own cheerleader.
Thank U for reading & listening!
Hey sweetheart, hope you remember me💜Michaela Cooper … been a looooong time! How are you? Just got this blog address from David. He came across my FB page so I messaged him. My mom is currently living with me here in the UAE. Would LOVE to connect!
Hey Michaela,
I sent you an email but just in case, tc@caregiversconscience.com. Good to hear from you!