A Caregiver's Conscience

CAREGIVING STATISTICS Fun—Not SO Funny Facts About Caregiving… General statistics regarding Caregivers in this Country: The most common Caregiver is the Unpaid Relative 24.4% of Family Caregivers are Adults 45-64 Years Old  18.8% of Family Caregivers are Adults over 65 years old 25.4% of Family Caregivers are Women                […]

AS A CAREGIVER THERE WILL BE DAYS LIKE THS… DAYS LIKE THIS… I always put my Mother first—it’s a natural Caregiver impulse.  And in putting my Mom first, that means that my needs, wants and wishes take a back seat to hers.  And some days, that is just a little too much for me to […]

  I have always been confident.  I have always been successful.  I set goals and then do what needs to be done to achieve them.  I have been that person for as long as I can remember. Caregiving has changed all that! Caregiving has Crushed my Confidence. I graduated on the Honor Roll in High […]

THE LIST “THE LIST” means something entirely different to a Caregiver than it may mean to others.  “The List” used to mean different things to me too. I grew up here in New England where we spend a considerable amount of time learning about the history of New England—the 13 original Colonies and all.  The […]

CAREGIVING HURTS Ernest Hemingway wrote, “Write hard and clear about what hurts.” Caregiving Hurts. My Cousin calls me Young Hemingway.  I love that on so many different levels. But mostly because it totally expresses her belief in the Writer Me. “Write about what hurts.”  Caregiving hurts. I have always been quick to say, “I don’t […]

CAREGIVER’S DAILY HOROSCOPE   Due to a restless night’s sleep, today will be an exhausting day on all fronts.  Attempt to remain patient and calm.  At times, it may not be easy. Expect unexpected gratitude that may not be received. The evening offers much of the same. Beware of nightmares and ghostly encounters.   LUCKY […]

THE CAREGIVER COMEBACK A Comeback is described as a return to a former position or condition (as of success or prosperity). A Comeback is a “Recovery” or a “Revival.” So, what does a Caregiver Comeback look like in real life? In Professional Sports a Comeback looks like Darryl Strawberry (Baseball), Michael Jordan (Basketball) and Tom […]

WHEN THE CAREGIVER IS DEPRESSED Depression, as defined by Miriam Webster is “a state of feeling sad; in low spirits specifically a mood disorder that is marked by varying degrees of sadness, despair, and loneliness.  And that is typically accompanied by inactivity. guilt, loss of concentration, social withdrawal and sometimes suicidal tendencies. “ And for […]

AND THE BEAT GOES ON….                                                                  “The beat goes on, the beat goes on, Drums keep pounding a rhythm to the brain. La-de-da-de-da, la-de-da-de-da” […]

FAMILY CAREGIVER JOB DESCRIPTION A Family Caregiver assists relatives who are unable to complete basic tasks for themselves. All tasks—all day—everyday—and night.  The Caregiver is responsible for monitoring, administering, policing, preparing, ALL THINGS associated with patients’ life—daily and nightly. CAREGIVER DUTIES AND RESPONSIBILITIES Caregivers help clients with everyday activities. Other essential duties and responsibilities include: […]

CAREGIVER’S CONSCIENCE 100 Wow! 100 Episodes 100 is Important. In Hollywood there is a major celebration for the 100th Episode of every show.  The Celebration is complete with a major Wrap Party after the Episode with Speeches, Awards and Caterers serving Champagne along with the favorite dishes of the Cast and Crew. 100 Episodes is […]

Thank You. It’s only 2 words but two very powerful words when uttered sincerely. A sincere, “Thank you,” from a Caregiver are two words that mean so much more. When the Caregiver says, “Thank You,” at the end of a conversation with a Friend, the Caregiver is saying: Thank you for Listening. Thank you for […]

CCC–CAREGIVER’S CONSCIENCE CLUB THE SERENITY PRAYER God, grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change, The Courage to change the things that I can, And the Wisdom to know the difference. This verse was written by Reinhold Niebuhr circa 1932.   It is commonly referred to as “the Serenity Prayer.” Despite the spiritual […]

  THIS MORNING This Morning, I woke up looking forward to the day ahead, I opened my eyes and jumped out of bed. My heart was full of all the joyful ways, All the things I could do throughout the day. My world is so full of possibilities, 4 the first time in a long […]

HOME ALONE 2 I am home alone.  What to do? What to do? This is a relatively new experience for me as it has only happened once before.  HOME ALONE with THE CAREGIVER But this time, I have a completely different attitude.  This time, I plan to simply enjoy being “Home Alone.” I’m not expecting, encouraging, […]

CASUALTIES OF CAREGIVING   A Casualty is defined as, “a person or thing harmed, lost, or destroyed (by an event or situation).” Caregiving is a situation which causes many casualties. The first and most obvious casualty of Caregiving is “Life As You Knew It!”  Everything about your life will change upon becoming a Caregiver. Everything! […]

“On the Flip Side”                     Meaning–Conversely, On the Other Hand, or The Other Side of the Coin. Today, I have decided to look at Caregiving on “the flip side”. That would also be known as from my Mother’s point of view. The Flip Side “I’m going to […]

THE SMELLS OF CAREGIVING In addition to everything else that is unique in the World of Caregiving—there are the smells. Aromas are important. That is evidenced by the number of Air Fresheners and the numerous manners in which one can “refresh” the smells in the home.  You may have seen the commercials where miscellaneous celebrities […]

NOBODY KNOWS but ANOTHER CAREGIVER “Walk a mile in my shoes, Just walk a mile in my shoes Yeah, before you abuse criticize, and accuse, Walk a mile in my shoes.” My Cousin called me the other day.  We’re cool Cousins but we have never spoken as much as we have recently.  His Mother is […]

A NEW YEAR & A NEW ATTITUDE   The beginning of the year offers many opportunities—even for Caregivers. “If you want things to change, you have to do something different.” As a Caregiver, you may not be able to do a lot of things differently, but you can have a different attitude, approach or feeling […]

  BAD DAY! Today is not a good day.  Not a good day at all. I don’t know how much more that I can take.  Today is not a good day. I watched a Caregiver video today.  A video that came up after one of my Podcast Episodes on YouTube.  The video mentioned a story […]

THE CAREGIVING COMMERCIALS   I’m not exactly sure why but there seems to be an abundance of Caregiver Commercials airing at this time. First, there are commercials recruiting Caregivers.  They say things like, “Do you have a strong interest in caring for others?” or “Are you able to develop a strong rapport with the elderly?” […]

THE CAREGIVER CALLING   IS THERE A CALLING TO BE A CAREGIVER? I believe that certain vocations have a calling.  Meaning that people are compelled to pursue certain occupations.  Priest, Teacher, Rabbi, Nurse, and Doctor are all careers where people acknowledge that they “have a calling.”  Enter into a conversation with anyone holding these key […]

CAREGIVING AND THE HOLIDAYS As, this Holiday Season begins, I have a few words of wisdom to share with regard to Caregiving during the Holidays.   Since I’ve been a Caregiver, I’ve learned some lessons–most of them the hard way. To spare you of the same fate, here are some Holiday tips to help you to […]

A CAREGIVING LOVE STORY Rosalynn Carter, a woman whose name was synonymous with Caregiving “died peacefully with her family by her side,” on Sunday, November 19, 2023.  The Carter Center said that she died Sunday, after living with dementia and suffering many months of declining health. She was 96. Her thoughts regarding Caregiving will literally […]

WHERE DO ALL THE CUPS COME FROM? Since I’ve been my Mom’s Caregiver, I ask myself that question a lot.  Really–a lot–like many, many times per day. I really don’t understand where all the cups come from.  My Mom does not have a dishwasher which means that I wash ALL the dishes. I’m not opposed […]

THE DAUGHTER & THE CAREGIVER—Me! Every now and then again, I am able to take off my Caregiver’s Goggles and see my Mother through a daughter’s eyes.  It doesn’t happen that often but when it does, it is a moment to be treasured. My Mom is a well-recognized force in the Arts Community in this […]

    Because I’m not 80!   Since I’ve been here as my Mom’s Caregiver, I have gained considerable insight into the ways and means of the Elderly population. Throughout my daily routine, I engage in conversations with people the world considers Senior Citizens.  And I don’t mean the new version of seniors where 60 […]

THE CAREGIVER’S FAVORITE COUPLE As my Mother’s Caregiver, I have been given special dispensation to live here in the Senior Living Complex. In general, I feel like a fish out of water.   The median age is 75 years old, and I have little to nothing in common with the residents.  I look upon most of […]

CAREGIVER’S GUILT   There are many different types of Guilt. There is “Jewish Guilt” which if categorized by one sentence it would be, “So would it kill you to call your Mother?” Then there is “Catholic Guilt,” when summarized by the Ten Commandments says, “Honor your (Father) and your Mother, and it shall go well […]

ROLL IT BACK EVERYBODY  –THE FLUSHABLE WIPES REMIX In a prior life, I was a Director of Marketing & Advertising; therefore, I know a thing or two about commercials.  I can generally tell you who the commercial is targeting in spite of on-camera images that appear to indicate otherwise. And I can explain the number […]

“A Caregiver’s Conscience” – THE PODCAST REWIND   Catch Up on Previous Podcast Episodes Before Season III begins.   SEASON I https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLbXuFv3i0Dh6aDrdaRipgHnscryFxQpKy&si=XX5ez8vzwpQKGfdx   SEASON II https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLbXuFv3i0Dh7GPurrP4dbOv8K2zNH11_-&si=fJJWMAzkDfmeSrMj   A CAREGIVER’S CONSCIENCE IN SOUND https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLbXuFv3i0Dh4TGbripLRFwxIawlUksON2&si=mHDQYDcqGlSobmR3   A CAREGIVER’S CONSCIENCE – THE BLOG – FROM THE BEGINNING https://www.caregiversconscience.com/   SLY & the Family Stone – “Thank You (Falettinme […]

WHEN SOMEONE ELSE DIES…   As a Caregiver, I experience different emotions when someone else dies.   My Conscience thinks and feels things that I never felt or thought before. My attention to death notices has increased.  And the feelings in my Conscience, are those of a Caregiver.  This year, numerous celebrities and other well know […]

I’m not really a Caregiver, I just play one on TV. Playing A Caregiver on TV is quite different and a lot more amusing than being a Caregiver in Real Life.  Caregiver’s have been portrayed in many different roles on Screen.   Here are some amusing examples of people playing a “Caregiver” on TV.   Doug […]

BEFORE HE WAS THE PRESIDENT… Before he became the 40th President of the United States, Ronald Reagan was President of SAG-AFTRA, the Actor’s Union. In a Historical move on July 14, 2023, Hollywood went dark as both the Writers’ (WGA) and the Actors’ (SAG-AFTRA) Unions are now on Strike.  This is the first Double-Strike of […]

A CAREGIVER’S CONSCIENCE IN SOUND  In support of the continuing WGA “Writers’ Strike,” with a rallying cry of “Pencils Down!” the Blog contains no newly written material and instead features a Podcast Episode from “A Caregiver’s Conscience.” Podcast Episodes are produced using previously written and published Blog stories.  Please do not under-estimate the importance of […]

THE CAREGIVER RECEIVES CALLS FROM A WRONG NUMBER   THIS IS A TRANSCRIPT OF A SERIES OF PHONE CALLS, MESSAGES AND TEXTS REGARDING A WOMAN WHOM I DO NOT KNOW.  SHE WAS DIALING A WRONG NUMBER; HOWEVER, THEY TELL A CAREGIVER’S STORY FROM BOTH SIDES.   THE CALLS TOOK PLACE OVER THE COURSE OF ONE […]

Although not the main storyline, Caregiving is the underlying theme in these Productions.  The first is a Classic Academy Award-Winning Film and the second is a Pulitzer Prize-Winning Play. “WHATEVER HAPPENED TO BABY JANE?’ Joan Crawford, Bette Davis, Victor Buono 1962 Genre:       Drama/Horror/Thriller Synopsis:   A former child star torments her paraplegic sister in […]

CELEBRITY CAREGIVERS *While doing some research, I came across an article profiling celebrities who became Caregivers. Check out these Celebrity Comments on Caregiving…. Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson “She’s earned this life and I’m a lucky son to provide for her these days.” Johnson wrote on Instagram in tribute to his mother. Rob Lowe  “It turned […]

ROSALYNN CARTER ON CAREGIVING… Rosalynn Carter is the Wife of President Jimmy Carter and served as 1st Lady of the United States from 1977-1981. The Former 1st Lady had this to say regarding “Caregiving:” “There are only four kinds of people in this world: those who have been caregivers; those who are currently caregivers, those […]

PRAYERS OF A CAREGIVER – FEATURE PODCAST In support of the WGA (Writers Guild of America) Strike, I am not publishing newly written Blog entries until such time as the Strike is settled and positive agreements have been made.  Beginning May 2, 2023, The Guild has called for, “All Writers to Put Their Pencils Down!”  […]

A CAREGIVER IN MY DREAMS It has happened.  I knew that it would happen one day, but I was hoping that I was wrong.  Caregiving has now entered my Dreams. My dreams are important to me—not only my dreams as in my hopes and desires but my nightly dreams. I have the unique ability to […]

THE CAREGIVER’S COVETED HOUR   An hour to myself.  As a Caregiver an hour to oneself is something to “covet.” The definition of “covet” according to Miriam Webster is “to wish for earnestly; to desire inordinately (what belongs to another).”  In other words, to yearn or long for; to thirst or hunger for—to covet. I […]

WHEN THE CAREGIVER NEEDS CARE   What happens when the Caregiver needs care?  Who is there to support the Caregiver in time of need?  More importantly who will fill the role of Caregiver should the Caregiver be unable to fulfill her duties? There is no Caregiver’s Assistant who steps up.  There is not an Understudy […]

THE MEN IN MY CAREGIVER LIFE As a Caregiver, my Social Life is non-existence.  I rarely get out and I haven’t been on a date since…since I can’t remember. The only guys in my life are the Crew members at Whole Foods, Starbucks, and the Wine Store. And they aren’t actually in my life.  The […]

CAREGIVER GONE WILD! WHEN I GO OUT… When I go out, my main objective is to leave my Caregiver’s Cares and Concerns behind me. I don’t want to think about anything that remotely relates to Caregiving. When I go out, Flushable Wipes, The Grocery Store and the TV that blast All Night Long are the […]

SCRUBS, CNAs & CAREGIVERS The TV Cast of Scrubs 2001-2010 Scrubs are the preferred uniform of the Medical Profession.  From Surgeons to Interns to CNAs, people employed in some aspect of the Medical Field wear them.  Although you may often find a Caregiver dressed in Scrubs. CNA is the abbreviation for Certified Nursing Assistant.  In order to […]

A CAREGIVER IN BONDAGE “I think that Mommy was a Queen in a previous life, and she thinks that we are her Subjects!” My Brother called me to make that announcement many years ago and it has just recently come back to mind. As I thought about it, I realized that being a Caregiver is […]

As a Caregiver, I am so Far Away…   Today I participated in a “Soup and Spirituality” Inter-Faith Get Together—a Zoom from Los Angeles in honor of the Season. It was led by a man who practices Zen Buddhism.   The topic was spiritual ways to deal with trauma and loss.  As a Caregiver, Trauma and […]

Is it me?  The Caregiver asks… IS IT ME? Is it me? Or is she doing these things on purpose?  As my Mother’s Caregiver, I ask myself this question multiple times throughout the day. The day generally begins with morning chores of emptying the trash, washing the dishes, and administering medication. The trash which had […]

THE CAREGIVER AND THE DOCTOR THE CAREGIVER’S DOCTOR. Recently, I had a doctor’s appointment—4 myself, the Caregiver.  Just an annual routine check-up which I had been routinely ignoring annually.  That was until I became a Caregiver.  I decided to give up the idea that I would be returning to my old life with my previous […]

“SAVING FACE” AS A CAREGIVER                                                          Can a Caregiver’s Conscience “save face?” When I think of “saving face,” I am reminded of a song verse.  “I like what […]

CAREGIVING WITH MY FRIENDS My Friends know that they are my friends.  What they don’t know is the many times during the day that their inspiration motivates me to carry on with my Caregiver’s duties. We were taught to make our beds every day.  It’s one of my Mother’s rules.  She is physically unable to […]

CAREGIVER’S TEMPER For the Caregiver, TEMPER is an interesting word.  As a noun, “temper” is defined as a person’s state of mind seen in terms of their being angry or calm.  Synonyms include words such as attitude, disposition, temperament, mood, or spirit.  Used in a sentence, “As a Caregiver, I often find the need to […]

ANNIVERSARY OF A CAREGIVER First Year Anniversary of “A Caregiver’s Conscience.” It has been a year since I began writing “A Caregiver’s Conscience.”  It is hard for me to believe on all different levels of dis-belief. It’s been a year since I began feeling as if I stepped into someone else’s life.  And every day […]

GIVING UP  GIVING UP EVERYTHING TO BE A CAREGIVER I have made a number of personal sacrifices in order to be here as my Mother’s Caregiver. I have given up my Free Time, my Spare Time, and my Me Time. I have exchanged my Creative process for a haphazard writing schedule which is totally dependent […]

ZIP YOUR LIP OR WHAT NOT TO SAY TO THE CAREGIVER.   And if one does say these things, no matter how the Caregiver actually responds, this is what they can’t help but be thinking. People say the strangest things when they don’t know what to say.  And even odder things when they are trying […]

THE CAREGIVER IS HOME ALONE HOME ALONE Today, I find myself “Home Alone.” I am home alone and loving it!  My Mother is in New York visiting my Brother.  I told you that I wasn’t an “Only Child. “ What to do—what to do?  That is the question that I ask myself. I could invite […]

      CAREGIVING with LEAN CUISINES If not familiar, Lean Cuisines are manufactured by Stouffer’s (owned by Nestle) and are premade dinners found in the Frozen food section of the Grocery Stores. As a Caregiver, they are something for which I have learned to be Thankful. They are not something that I would normally […]

CAREGIVER’S YEAR IN REVIEW In my previous life, you know before I became a Caregiver, I had a year-end tradition.  Put simply, I would note the achievements of the past year and set goals for the upcoming year. Well at the end of last year, I had finally come to terms with the fact that […]

A CAREGIVER’S CONNECTION This is a solo journey–this Caregiving for my Mother.  And it is not a journey for which I purchased a ticket.  I’m flying solo heading somewhere I don’t want to go.   And most of the time, I feel pretty lonely when I am rarely alone. As I’ve been wandering down this Caregiving […]

AM I IN YOUR WAY? “Am I in your way?” “Am I in your way,” my Mother asked as she stood in place with her walker. “Am I in your way?” she asks in a clueless tone as she completely blocks the walkway between the living room and the Bathroom. “Am I in your way?” […]

  Caregivers are a Human Resource.  Yet, there is no HR Department for Caregivers. Caregiver’s do not perform their daily duties in the Corporate World with Human Resource Departments. Especially those Caregivers who are Unpaid Relatives! My friends call me all the time for advice.  Business advice to be exact.  I have held Senior Level […]

A CAREGIVER’S GRATITUDE   As a Caregiver, I have a lot of Cares and Concerns. And so, to take my mind off of these cares and concerns, I decided to think of the things that I am grateful for as a Caregiver.  Not an easy task, I must say. As a Caregiver I am Thankful […]

A CAREGIVER’S HOLIDAYS   By definition of the word, a Caregivers doesn’t’ usually have the option of celebrating Holidays. A Holiday is a day marked by general suspension of work in commemoration of an event.  The problem with Miriam-Webster’s definition of the word is the phrase “suspension of work.”  Under what circumstances is the Caregiver […]

CAREGIVER – A PRIVILEGE OR A PUNNISHMENT? One of my Cousins suggested that I look at the “opportunity” to be my Mother’s Caregiver as a privilege versus a punishment or life sentence.  Her opinion is one that I generally consider and so I decided to take a moment to contemplate what she said. In business, […]

              LOSING MY MIND AT WITS END Every once in a while, I feel as if being a Caregiver is costing me my sanity. The past few days have been rough—really tough.  I now fully understand the lyrics, “Cry me a River…” sung by both Ella Fitzgerald and Justin […]

  THE LAST STRAW “That was the last straw! Or “I am at My Wits End.” People make these statements often.  I imagine sometimes, one utters the words without really putting any thought behind them.  When a Caregiver says these things—the Caregiver is painfully aware of the meaning behind the words. Synonyms as defined by […]

A CAREGIVER’S FRIENDS FRIENDS OF A CAREGIVER As a Caregiver, having good friends is critical.  I have good friends—really good friends. They pick me up when I’m feeling down.  They make me laugh and smile when they can tell that I’m frowning.  They send me inspiring texts, virtual hugs and pictures of the moments of […]

    SANDWICH ANYONE?   The definition of “sandwich” according to Miriam-Webster’s dictionary is as both a noun and a verb. As a noun, a sandwich is two or more slices of bread or a split-roll having a filling in between. As a verb, meaning to insert or enclose rather tightly in between two articles. […]

NOW OR LATER? “Now and Later” is the name of a favorite candy from my Childhood.  Along with Jolly Ranchers and SweetTarts that is.  Today as my Mother’s Caregiver, with one word difference it has a very different meaning; it has become a constant question… NOW OR LATER? “To do it now or to do […]

 CAREGIVER’S CUP OF COFFEE “You’re faking a smile with your coffee to go…” That’s a line from a song, “Bad Day” by Daniel Powter.  It is one of the top songs on the Caregiver’s Mix that YouTube created.  And one of my favorite lines in the song is that line, “You’re faking a smile with […]

As a Caregiver, What Are You Praying For? Sometimes I wonder about my Wishes, Hopes and Dreams.  When I think about what I want—what I really want, I do so without considering what comes first. I often hope for an end to the situation at hand.  I dream of the day when I get my […]

:                                                                           A CAREGIVER’S PLAYLIST   Every YouTuber knows that YouTube will create a “Mix” based on the videos, […]

EAVESDROPPING Eavesdropping is one of the many skills that I have developed being a Caregiver. I was never a person who eavesdropped.  It just wasn’t my thing.  I believe that when you eavesdrop, you risk the possibility of hearing something that you didn’t want to hear.  At the very least, you hear something that the […]

THE CAREGIVER IS ALSO THE CABLE GUY   “The Television is Broken and The Remote Doesn’t Work” I can’t tell you how often I have heard those two phrases since I have been my Mom’s Caregiver. OMG! When I first became her Caregiver, my Mother wanted to call the Cable Company constantly insisting that they […]

TO SURVIVE AS A CAREGIVER, YOU WILL NEED…   The Caregiver’s Survival Kit contains thirteen (13) items.  I decided to put a limit on the number of items in the kit as the kit itself requires a great deal of space—if not physically, definitely mentally.     Wine    A corkscrew    Advil, Tylenol, THC/CBD […]

ON BEING ME… I used to love being me.  Seriously, I really loved being me.  And quite frankly, I have always been more than a tad confused why everyone doesn’t feel that way about themselves.  At a very young age, I became my own best friend.  I was the only girl in the “2 Boys […]

https://youtu.be/A1wXEEQBHeQ “Hail to the Chief”   COMMANDER IN CHIEF-THE CAREGIVER THE TRANSITION OF POWER “The Transition of Power,” is a phrase with which most Americans have become familiar over the past several years. Most notably used in the Political World, the “Transition of Power” is the process where the newly elected Administration takes over for […]

JENNY’S HOUSE – A CAREGIVER’S ESCAPE   Jenny was Jenny before J-Lo knew there was a block!   Jenny lives in my Mom’s Building.  It is a complex providing Independent Living for Seniors.  I have received special dispensation in order to remain here to care for my Mother; otherwise, I would not be allowed to live […]

IT’S THE LITTLE THINGS   Or “This is Assisted Living.” As a Caregiver, it’s often the little things that make the most difference. Each morning my Mother takes a shower and it’s a blessing that she can handle that solo with no assistance from me.  Although I am on high alert throughout the duration of […]

THE CAREGIVER PLANS 4 THE DAY? What are your plans for the day? Do you have any plans for the weekend? What are you up to? OMG.  Yes, I have plans for the day!  But I have realized that regardless of what my plans for the day may be, they may not actually happen. People […]

WINE TIME FOR THE CAREGIVER   In an effort to clarify the appropriateness of “Day Drinking,” I thought that I might outline some key Caregiving moments that may require Wine. Wine pairs perfectly with many Caregiver Activities such as: Before and After the “Grocery Store” with my Mother While doing the laundry When cleaning a […]

I WANT TO LIVE – THE CAREGIVER SCREAMS! “I Want to Live!” is the title of a Classic 1958 Black & White movie starring Susan Hayward.  It is based on the true story of Barbara Graham, a convicted felon sentenced to death in the Gas Chamber.  A series of misguided associations and poor decisions led […]

  IN THE HEART OF EVERY AUNT IS A CAREGIVER! Aunt Bee – “The Andy Griffith Show”   Aunt Dolores.  Dolores Aunt.  These two women have had a tremendous influence on my life as a Caregiver. Aunt Dolores was my Mother’s oldest Sibling.  And as the oldest of 4 girls and two boys whose parents […]

THE CAREGIVER’S COMMENT   I can’t tell you how many times a day that I’m asked the question, “How’s your Mother?” What I can tell you is that it is one too many times each and every time. When I’m unloading the groceries making trip after trip, and I’m asked, “How’s your Mother?” I think […]

WHEN IS A CAREGIVER’S DOWN-TIME? When listening to advice given to Caregivers, you often hear things like: “Do something for Yourself during the ‘down time” “Don’t forget to take care of Yourself!” “Try to take advantage of the down-time.” I just have one question and few comments.  First of all, when is this down-time of […]

THE GIRL FROM HIGH SCHOOL   One day my Brother and I were discussing the script for a TV Show that I was writing.  I was having a “problem” figuring out why one particular character would take calls from his High School sweetheart.  The Protagonist was the Dean of a prestigious University, and the woman […]

CONTROL AND DENIAL   If elderly people would accept the fact that they need help Graciously accept the help that is given to them And were grateful for that help Their lives would be a whole lot different….   CONTROL My Mother is the youngest girl of six siblings.  She has always been the youngest, […]

CAREGIVER’S COINS A Penny 4 your thoughts. “As a Caregiver, I feel as if I just stepped into someone else’s life.  And I want my life back!” And so, I started writing this Blog.  Because I am a Writer, and I was determined to write.  I allow myself to believe that I am a Writer […]

CRISS-CROSS    Have you ever seen the movie, “Strangers on a Train?” If not, please take a moment to find (YouTube Link below) and watch the movie—it’s one of Hitchcock’s best. Once you’ve seen the movie this entry will have more meaning to you. I am now thinking about developing a Criss-Cross Caregiver’s Community inspired […]

The Place   “The Place,” is what I refer to as a Nursing Home or Assisted Living.  And from time to time, I find myself basically threatening my Mother with “The Place.” For instance, when she said that the Seafood Paella that I prepared was not as good as the restaurant version, I quickly explained […]

A CAREGIVER’S CONUNDRUMS AND CARTWHEELS   If Only “If only the elderly person receiving care accepted the fact that they need help, If only they received the much-needed help Graciously, If only they were then Grateful for that assistance, Then surely things would be different.”   Things would not only be different for the Individual […]

A Caregiver’s Nightmare Flushable wipes?  NIOT!  Ok well in all fairness to the Manufacturers of flushable wipes—not in all cases. One wipe at a time with little to no toilet paper; yes, in those circumstances they are flushable.   In multiple uses and with massive amounts of toilet paper; no, not so much.  With the latest […]

Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da (Reflections on a Caregiver’s Birthday)   LIFE GOES ON… “Ob-LA-Di, Ob-La-Da, Life goes on, Bra La-la, how their life goes on Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da, life goes on, Bra La-la, how their life goes on” And the key words of that Beatles song are, “how their life goes on.” The lives of my Friends and […]

A CAREGIVER’S SPECIAL ORDER   This Weekend the Special is New Beginnings!   HAPPY PASSOVER HAPPY EASTER

Financially In Between Every once in a while, I wonder.  I wonder how it is that I have ended up here as a Caregiver.  And as the most common of Caregivers—the Unpaid Relative. The answer is simple really. My Mother is in the un-enviable position of being “financially in-between” And her situation is not unique.  […]

FROM “A” TO “Z”   My Feelings as a Caregiver, from “A” to “Z” in 100 Words or so…   anxious, apathy, annoyed, anticipation, angry, admired, alone bored, blessed, beginner, benign cautious, caring, crazy, confused, captive, creative devious, dis-respected, devastated, dedicated, delighted empathetic, engaged, energized, enjoy, explosive forgiving, frustrated, fragile, freaked-out grateful, generous, good, gentle […]

REST IN PEACE Everyone is still alive—no one has died.  Everyone is still alive!  I have just been thinking about how people say, “Rest in Peace,” when people have passed away.  Illness, Old Age, Unexpected Events—no matter the reason and no matter what you believe spiritually, all will agree that people who have physically left […]

  I love to cook!  Like really, I love to cook.  I watch cooking shows, I event recipes, I can cook my favorite menu items from most restaurants—I really love to cook. But Caregiving has turned cooking into a chore! My Mother eats 3 meals a day and has very poor eating habits.  I am […]

HUGS I am a person who hugs.  I hug my friends when I haven’t seen them in a long time.  I hug my Family.  And sometimes I hug people whom I’ve just met but for some reason feel as if I’ve known them for a long time. Since I’ve been my Mom’s Caregiver, I have […]

ONLY CHILD?   Siblings or not, as a Caregiver you often feel as if you are an only child. Why is that? You may wonder but the reason is simple. When it comes time to fill the role of a parent’s Caregiver, there is usually one child who steps up reluctantly or not and puts […]

2-Hour Curfew 2 Hours—that is about all the time that I take away from my Mom.  And it is not 2 hours each day away from my Caregiver responsibilities.  It’s that I only feel comfortable being away 2 hours whenever I am away.   And it is not really that often. 2 hours is just enough […]

All Night Long…   “All night long.  All night.  All night long.  All night.” No, I am not quoting the words to a Lionel Richie song.  Well, ok I am quoting the words to a Lionel Richie song, but I am referring to my Mother’s TV.  My Mother’s TV is on ALL NIGHT LONG! My […]

      Maybe I Should Wear Depends? DEPENDS are  incontinent underwear for women.  They make them for men too but we’re talking about my Mother. If not familiar with the product, you’ve seen the commercials.  They show women of all shapes and sizes boasting about their paper underpants.  The women are young, thin, slightly […]

A CAREGIVER’S CONFESSION… Just when you’re thinking that you’re all alone and no one understands what you’re going through, you meet someone who lets you know that you’re not alone. You could seek out such an individual but when it happens by chance in an unexpected manner and in an unexpected place, it really makes […]

  Day Drinking is a Thing Since the day in the life of a Caregiver is never ending, waiting for a proper hour to have a glass of wine isn’t always an option.  Who am I kidding?  After a few hours of cooking, cleaning, and waiting on my Mother, I need a glass of wine. […]

  My Mother is a person who likes to do a “big” shopping once a month and supplement as needed during the following weeks.  And even though she no longer drives, cooks or can stand for long periods of time, she insists on keeping this ritual. In an effort not to change everything in her […]

It’s been two years… It’s been two years and I have finally accepted the fact that my “Day Job,” is Caregiver. I am no longer a Corporate Executive.  I am not someone who left the Ad Agency business to pursue my dream of being a Writer.  I am not simply “looking out for my Mom […]